Fragmented You
by LBx
Summary: Regulus Black: his life, his loves, his downfall. A collection of drabbles.
1. Fragment I

**Fragmented You**

Fragment One  
_Inspired by Somnia, who got me thinking of a blushing!Regulus._

Regulus can feel his cheeks burning. He clenches his fists and bites his lip, staring fixedly at the table. The only person who has ever made Regulus feel inferior before is his brother; he certainly did not expect to feel this way because of a half-blood. All Regulus' life, he has been taught that half-bloods are beneath him, and that he should always hold his head high and sneer in their faces.

A quill scratches across parchment, and Regulus tries to glare at Remus, but Remus just gives him a small, infuriating smile.

"Know it all," Regulus finally mumbles, slouching in his chair and sulking. Then Remus laughs, and suddenly being inferior doesn't matter.


	2. Fragment II

**Fragmented You**

Fragment Two  
_Queerditch Challenge – Regulus/Remus, chalk and a scarf_

"It's like dust."

Remus stared blankly at the dark haired boy bent over the table. He was suppose to be tutoring Regulus in preparation for the fifth year O.W.L exams (headmaster's request), but the boy was more fascinated by the Muggle chalk than by scrolls and spells.

"Compressed dust, actually," resigned Remus, sitting down in one of the chairs. It was chilly in the barren classroom, the west wing not receiving much sunlight on a Saturday afternoon. In the distance he could hear shouts from some boys (no doubt a couple friends of his) playing Quidditch.

From across the table Regulus glanced up, chalk forgotten. "Are you cold, _professor_?" There was an almost evil smirk resting on his lips, and Remus suppressed a shiver. "You are," continued Regulus, reaching over into his school bag and pulling out a black and green wool scarf. Remus held his breath as the younger boy leaned over the table, looping the scarf around his neck.

He didn't let go of the ends, and Remus didn't get to tell him any more about chalk.


	3. Fragment III

**Fragmented You**

Fragment Three  
_Queerditch Challenge – Sirius/Regulus, image of rock with a chain_

Sometimes Sirius feels like he's spinning widely out of control. His parents cast him disdainful looks, and the only time his mother speaks is to scold. Even the house elves seem to sneer when they pass him in the hall now, keeping their heads lowered and scuttling along like good little slaves. _I hate this house_, Sirius thinks, over and over, through blind fury and hot tears.

Sometimes, at night, Sirius feels like he's drowning, chained to the ocean bottom and unable to come up for air. He thrashes about in his bed, submerged in blankets and gasping for breath. On these nights, Regulus is the one who rescues him from the monstrous waves of cotton, sliding into bed beside his brother.

Sometimes Sirius calms easily, and other times he continues to bleed hot tears. He feels ashamed as his younger brother watches, grey eyes sad but serene. Regulus never touches the open wounds –the tears, the poison which leaks all too easily from Sirius' body.

Sometimes he kisses Sirius though, and when he does, Sirius feels grounded.


	4. Fragment IV

**Fragmented You**

Fragment 4  
_regulus100 challenge #6 – Spies_

"Don't you ever get tired of watching?"

"You flatter yourself, Lupin."

Remus is standing uncomfortably close. His body seems to radiate heat from beneath his impeccable school robes, each fold of the dark fabric crisp and clean.

Regulus isn't interested, nor does he spy. The very notion is sickening.

"I study alone in the library on Friday nights," Remus murmurs, stepping back as he prepares to leave. "You already know that," he adds as Regulus sends him a dark look, "but this time, don't hide behind the bookcases."

"I'll go where I want," snaps Regulus, stalking off down the hall.

Remus smiles.


	5. Fragment V

**Fragmented You**

Fragment 5  
_regulus100 challenge #12 – Neglect_

When Regulus was six he wanted a rat. His mother thought it was a filthy, disgusting creature, but Regulus sulked and cried until the rat was bought and caged in his room. He wasn't allowed to touch it, but sometimes, late at night when he was sure his mother wouldn't burst into his room, he'd slid his finger between the bars to feel the brush of whiskers against his skin.

Summer came and warm nights were spent curled against his brother's side, the grey-haired rat forgotten. When the house elves smuggled the creature away and disposed of it, Regulus didn't know.


	6. Fragment VI

**Fragmented You**

Fragment 6  
_Queerditch Challenge - Sirius/Regulus (And through the spaces of the dark / Midnight shakes the memory / As a madman shakes a dead geranium.)  
__Blug Challenge - The Window Ledge_

Sometimes Regulus wonders if, one night, he parted the thick curtains around his bed, he would find Sirius there. He still remembers those lazy summer nights at home, when Sirius would sneak into his room with two glasses of lemonade stolen from the kitchen and usher Regulus over to the window. They'd sit on the window seat and watch the stars, feet pressed sole-to-sole as the minutes ticked by.

Each summer the peaceful days grew less. By Regulus' fourth year at Hogwarts, he'd realized his brother was changing right before his eyes, drawing himself away from the Black family. Still, each night without fail that summer, Sirius snuck into his room and they'd sit together, content with each other's company when words were few between them.

Sirius had often spoke of leaving. Late at night, still staring out the window, he'd take Regulus' hand and squeeze it, murmuring, "one day I'll be free of here." That day came August 7th, 1975. Straight after breakfast Sirius left in a flurry of robes, lashing cold words at his heritage.

Regulus had expected it, for Sirius had left his room in a similar flurry the night before, although his words then had been soft in their plea of forgiveness. They had sat by the window ledge as they always did, sipping lemonade with their growing legs a tangle between them. Sirius had looked at him a moment, and Regulus had felt his breath catch at the forlorn beauty of his brother -moonlight dying his skin a shade paler and making his grey eyes seem deeper somehow. Quietly, still watching his brother, Sirius set his glass down on the floor. He'd rolled forward so he was kneeling between Regulus' legs and grasped his brother's shoulders, bowing his head so as to kiss him.

The press of lips was soft, fleeting. Regulus' glass dropped from his weak grip and spilt lemonade all over the carpet; Sirius fled the room.

He never came home again.


	7. Fragment VII

**Fragmented You**

Fragment 7  
_Blug Challenge - Getting Drunk_

"You see," says Regulus, his world tilting at the edge of his vision, "you see …" He's lost his point. He stares blankly at Remus before furrowing his brow, trying to regain his train of thought.

Remus gives him a small smile, reaching out to pat him on the shoulder. "It's all right, I understand."

"No ya'don't." The last words slur as the world blurs a bit. Regulus lets himself fall back on the couch, his back arching over a pillow as his head rests on the arm. "No you don't," he says again, softer this time, sounding completely sober for one melancholy moment. And Remus doesn't understand, because if he did, wouldn't he hug Regulus now, wouldn't he kiss him and hold him and tell him it'll all be all right?

"You need to rest." Ah, the voice of reason. Remus vanishes the empty bottles of Firewhisky and gets off the couch, looking back down at Regulus for a second. "Is there anything you need?"

Regulus stares at him, charcoal eyes despairing as he mumbles "you."

Remus lowers his gaze and ignores the admittance. "I'll just be in the other room. Get some rest. You'll feel better."

Only Regulus knows he won't feel better as long as Remus doesn't love him.


End file.
